My Burden of a Lesser God.

Whoa, I must be feeling bloggity again.

A) 100th post. This is crazy.

2) I love it when I read something one place, listen to something in another and then God turns my focus to His word and it completely makes sense because of the thing that I just read...
Vague. I know...let me explain.


I was reading Traveling Light last night by Max Lucado, and there was a chapter in it about having to walk with the burden of "a lesser god." He was saying that we try to fit God into this box or mold Him into something we can understand because that is how we need Him to be. Not only is this selfish because we should never try to compartmentalize the divine Savior of the world...but we also are not doing ourselves any favors.

We try to diminish God into something we can comprehend, but this leads us to doubt His true power. I don't think the problem for me is knowing how powerful God is. Diminishing Him doesn't necessiraly mean making Him smaller in my mind. Maybe a better word would be...I don't know. What is a better word? I have seen miracles. I have seen Him heal people. I have seen Him work in incredible ways that can only be attributed to miracles. I know how big God is. I think my probelm is that I don't think GOd can handle my issues. Not that he isn't powerful enough...but that he just wouldn't. I doubt that he is near to me in my deepest and most broken places, and I feel that I take God as this huge, powerful being...that would never have time to focus on Lauren Francis.

Because of this mindset, which by the way has been the way I think (and I think a lot of us think) has been my mindset almost my entire life...I try to deal with these things on my own. I become self-reliant and obsessed with my own well-being and I forget to let God work in me. I feel distant from my Father because I create the distance. I make God out to be this God that would heal the multidtudes from diseases, but would not heal the diseases in my heart. And this, is the problem.

[I promise this blog is almost over]
This morning, I was reading James 1 and I came across this verse:
⁵"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. ⁶But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

Now I am no Bible scholar, but when it says 'wisdom' I don't think that is the only thing that could be asked for. I think comfort could go in that space. I think peace could go in that space. Those are the things that I need alongside wisdom...and for so long I have been so hesitant to ask God for these things. Beyond asking, I have been teribble at actually believing that He would provde...and I get into the self-control everything mode. I doubt his power. I am a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

So this is the problem. And I am trying to find some answers, but hopefully this is an encouragement...God is never to big to be small enough for me and my heart's healing. Good to know.

To wrap it up...a few words from Nichole Nordeman (this is the listen to another thing haha)

And I know you could leave writing on the wall
that's just for me.
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping,
like in Soloman's sweet dreams.
But I don't need the strength of Samson
or a chariot in the end.
Just want to know that you still know how many hairs
are on my head
Oh great god, be small enough to hear me now.

LF