I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same
a window and a pigeon with a broken wing;
You can spend your whole life working for something
just to have it taken away...
But love will come set me free,
love will come set me free
I do believe!
Love will come set me free,
I know it will.

April 5, 2010


Sad to say.

But I will be moving blogs. It is kind of weird because I feel like so much of my life has been documented on this blog, so I will keep it...but I know that I need to move on.

It's kind of like a break-up. A blog-up if you will. will be my new home :)

Peace and LOTS of blogspot love.


April 2, 2010

apathy&the cross

Have we been desensitized to the story of the cross?

Last night, some people were watching The Passion of the Christ and I said:
"That movie is boring..."

Really? The depiction of Jesus being bruised and broken for MY sins bores me?

I think there is also a temptation to the cross into this really
emotional, dramatic thing that can be compared to like...a sad movie.
It's sometime we can cry over once a year on Good Friday
and then never think about it again
until we are gathered on the next Good Friday.

But the story of the cross is for all times. All days. Times of joy. Times of sadness. It is the only thing on this earth that can truly bring us freedom for our bondage to sin.
The cross is there through it all, and how apathetic have we been towards its story and that story's implication?

But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed. -Isa 53:5

March 26, 2010

You have my attention

Tonight I got to go to a Copeland show at The Glass House.

A) of all...I got to go with a friend that I haven't gotten to hang out with in a long time, so it was super good.

B) I stinking love the Glass House. Every show I have seen there is great. Pomona sucks, but that place is awesome.

C) Even though it was a bittersweet night (it is their farewell tour)...I was stoked to be able to see them before they broke up! They have been a band that has really been the soundtrack in a sense to my high school/college years, and I feel like I have literally grown up listening to them. Aaron is an amazing lyricist and somehow all of his lyrics seem to catch me right when I need them.

This was a WONDERFUL show, and the energy was unbeatable. I kept shouting "One more song!" and I meant it...but I am glad that Copeland ended on a high note (and literally a high note...Aaron sung this RIDICULOUS note on You Have My Attention) and I am so stoked to have been a part of it!

Setlist for the night:
I'll Take Of You
Careful Now
I'm A Sucker For A Kind Word
The Grey Man
Chin Up
Control Freak
On The Safest Ledge
The Day I Lost My Voice (The Suitcase Song)
Pin Your Wings
No One Really Wins
Paula Sparks

Brightest (just Aaron)
You Have My Attention

March 21, 2010


You'll say life ain't no love song...
And I'll spend my whole life trying to prove you wrong.

Jesus IOU.

Tonight was inspiring and convicting, which I think is the best kind of night.

Chris Ward, who is a pastor at Yorba Linda Friends was a guest speaker, and he taught about the sense of entitlement that we have in this society...especially when it comes to our relationship with God.

It's true, for the majority of my life...I have viewed God with this kind of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" type of mentality...but there is something SO wrong with that.

Actually, there are multiple things so wrong with that. Here are some thoughts about the subject:

1) Who do I think I am that I could ever bargain with God? If I think about it...nothing that I could do is something that ONLY I can do. Sure, he gave me talents and passions to use for his glory...but in what delusion do I live to think that by doing these things...I am actually doing God a favor of some sort?

2) Also, I think back to the multiple times that I have done things purely to get something out of it. The anticipation and expectations are always greater than the outcome, and that should really teach me a lesson to not do things with a hidden (or sometimes not so hidden motive)

3) I loved when Chris talked about how we expect that when we do something for God, he should do something for us. And so quickly, when we find out that is not the case, we blame Him for not carrying out His end of the bargain. But that is where we are SO blatantly wrong.

It become clear that...

There is no reward for anything we do for the Kingdom. Now when I say no reward, I probably should clarify that I don't really mean NO reward. It's just not the instant gratification, IOU form Jesus reward that we want. It is something far greater than IS Jesus. Following Him should be reason for Joy even if that is the only thing that ever comes from it.

This is hard for me to swallow. I want to know that because I serve for literally an entire day during the week with no pay at the church that I will get the job that I want. I want to be 100% assured that if I go into the ministry and follow the path I feel God calling me into...I will meet my husband, make lots of money and have a healthy family like I want.

But there is no guarantee. And there shouldn't have to be. Our reward waits for us in Heaven...and that should be enough.

As we responded as a community of worshipers after this message...the words were so hard for me to sing and really mean.

"It's all about you...All that I adore is in You....Have your way in me..."

Not statements that I can truly say I live out. But I think that God meets us where we are at in regards to this sense of entitlement. He knows the deepest desires of our hearts, and also can dramatically influence those desires without us even knowing. He longs to be so close and real to that we will really understand that he is the best reward we could ever receive.

So this is my prayer regarding this realization...
Lord, help me to know you and want you with or without blessings upon my life. Challenge me to evaluate my motives behind everything I do, and to leave what is not strictly or the purpose of glorifying YOU behind. Amen!


March 9, 2010

How sweet it is to be loved by YOU!

"...sometimes grace works like water-wings when you are sinking." --Anne Lammot

Me and Jesus have a love, hate relationship.
What I mean is this.
He ALWAYS loves me and I hate that.

When I say I "hate" that...I moreso mean that I don't understand it. Not even a little bit.

I mess up. He is there. When I throw a fit and vow to control my own life...he doesn't let me.

I could swear up, down, left and right that I know what I need...that I know where I am supposed to be, but today (like many other days) God has shown me that I need to stop.

I need to stop planning. Or really...plotting.

I need to stop trying to protect my life here on earth. I try to make it comfortable, but I sacrifice integrity and honesty while doing that. It is horrible.

I need to stop worrying. Worrying about things that are not in my control is straight from the Devil, I truly believe that.

I praise the Lord for his grace. For the things he gives me when I don't deserve them (which is all the time). I offer every bit of gratitude I have for the fact that he LOVES me and holds me when I face trials and struggles...and that he shows me the way out, no matter how much I try to do things on my own.

I love your grace Lord. It blows my mind!


March 7, 2010


1. You are not a true fan of any band (aka Vampire Weekend) if you only like them after seeing them on SNL.

2. Seth Meyers quite possibly be the most attractive man on this earth. His sense of humor...mmm.

3. Boys kissing other boys is never cute. Or funny. It is mainly gross...all the time.

4. RIP Andy Samberg being in more then one sketch a night...I miss you. You are probably the second most attractive man on earth, behind Seth. But don't worry...he is getting older, your time shall come.

5. Kristen Caroll Wiig. You are truly an inspiration. Everything you do is funny. Make herstory and become the head writer of this show soon. Thanks.

I love that this show is making a comeback. I had missed good comedy there for awhile :)


March 6, 2010


"My conclusion? Jesus' call to commitment is clear: He wants all or nothing. The though of a person calling himself a " Christian" without being a devout follower of Christ is absurd."