I feel like a fruitpicker who arrived here
after the harvest
There's nothing here at all
There's nothing at all here that could placate my hunger
The godly people are all gone
There's not one honest soul left alive here on this planet
We're all murders and thieves
Setting traps here for even our brothers
And both of our hands
Are equally skilled
At doing evil
Equally skilled
At bribing the judges
Equally skilled
At perverting justice
Both of our hands
Both of our hands
The day of justice comes
And is even now swiftly arriving
Don't trust anyone at all
Not your best friend or even your wife
For the son hates the father
The daughter despises even the mother
Look! Your enemies are right
Right in the room of your very household
And both of their hands are equally skilled
Equally skilled
No, don't gloat over me
For though I fall, though I fall
I will rise again
Though I sit here in darkness
The Lord, the Lord alone
He will be my light
I will be patient as the Lord
Punishes me for the wrongs
I've done against him
After that he'll take my case
Bringing me to light and to justice
For all I have suffered
And both of his hand are equally skilled
At ruining evil
Equally skilled
At judging the judges
Equally skilled
Administering justice
Both of his hands
Both of his hands are equally skilled
At showing them mercy
Equally skilled
At loving the lovers
Equally skilled
Administering justice
Both of his hands
Both of his hands
I love this song because it gets right at the core of something I feel like I have struggled with for a long time.
Tonight I was challenged with these thoughts:
What if my capacity to love matched my capacity to hate? I feel like I sometimes truly HATE things, but what do I truly love? Or even further, much of the time I will act on the hatred by gossiping, lying, scowling, etc. But even when I claim to truly love something...I don't show it.
What if my tendencies to talk were suppressed by the simple action of listening? In a time I struggle all too much with my mouth and everything that comes out of it (gossip, lies, mean things, sarcasm) why don't I ever just listen? I mean sure, I "listen" but most of the time I am thinking about what I am going to say next, what advice I can give them before I change the subject to me. How selfish.
What if I gave up on pursuing worldly relationships and justification and just let God who has always pursued me and has always been my source of justification in? I feel like right now more than ever I am learning that worldly relationships will falter and fail, and because I put so much effort and significance into these unstable things, I in turn feel like I have failed as a person. Like in previous posts, I still wonder why I can't just let God in and accept that he knows my heart and still loves me. When people turn me down for my faults, or are only concerned with my failures...he is there to pick me up and love on me despite everything. I get that in my head, probably more now than ever. But its the translation of that thought via my heart that is not working out.
I don't know why this song reminds me of those things, but for some reason, it encourages me because it talks about how we are "Equally Skilled" in loving, administering justice, and running evil. Its nice to know I HAVE that capacity and that skill...now all I gotta do is find it, wrestle with it, and live with it.
Interesting night.
LF
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