So I am giving you a warning that this is going to be a blog that will fall under the cliche "boy drama" category. Feel free to stop reading at this point, because in all honesty...I feel bad whining to my real friends (as opposed to online, blog-reading friends...I guess?) about this but I need to get it down somewhere.
You know when you think about someone in your head for so long that you think that you have a perfectly accurate sense of who they are...and then you are completely wrong? Worst feeling in the world. OK, maybe not the WORST...but it is pretty terrible. Like, from a distance they are this person that is the epitomy of what you want...but in real life (that exists, what?) they are just a normal person...with flaws and issues that make them a little less perfect.
And it is not fair. Because its not like they were pretending to be this perfect person or anything...but you just don't know them well enough to make any real decisions. Usually this happens when its a really attractive person, because hey they are hot...so their real personality doesn't matter. But in this case, it was not so much that...as something that I overthought and obsessed over in my head...bad decision. I think the most upsetting part about this whole situation is that I can only be mad at myself because I wasted too much time pursuing something that would never work out, on my own will.
Blah, I can't even think coherently right now. But that is OK, because today it's gonna rain. And then tomorrow its going to be sunny and warm and I am going to be with the people that love me for who I am.
Actually, it might rain tomorrow (stupid weather). But Saturday is sunshine and smiles.
Until then.
LF
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