But for some reason, I turned to this Psalm while I was trying to find Corinthians...and I don't think it was a mistake. So I spent some time thinking about it while I was sitting there...and it resonates with me so much at this time in my life:
Psalm 142
A maskil of David. When he was in the cave. A prayer. a]">
1 I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
2 I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.
3 When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.
4 Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.
5 I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living."
6 Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
7 Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.
But something so incredible about David is that he gets the fact that His Maker is in control of every aspect of his life. Even when he is forced to spend his days running and his nights hiding in a cave, he still calls on Jesus as his portion and refuge...despite the loneliness he feels.
I wish I could be more like David in many ways, specifically the way he is transparent with God. I let God know when I am not happy with his decisions, but I usually leave it at that. I think that David spends time with God when he is disheartened, and although he does pour out his complaint and sorrow, he also searches for God in his situation. I know that all the crap going on in my life is part of a plan and a bigger picture...but God wants me to be open and honest with him about how that makes me feel.
Secondly, I wish that I would see troubles as David saw them. Come to think of it, also as Paul saw them...as opportunities for faith to be tested and to still turn to God and realize that His plan reigns supreme in my life. I try to reason and argue with God about how my way is better...as I am sure David did while he was trying to escape death, but I wish that I would truly understand what it means to trust the Lord, and be content even if He is the only good thing going on in my life at this moment...
I don't know. Just some thoughts. I like Psalms though...I should not pay attention in church more often : )
LF